This is Why We Are Not Scientists

The Boyfriend and I were salutatorians of our respective high schools and have a combined SAT score of over 3000 (approximately 1500 each, taken before the introduction of the writing section), though you would never be able to tell from listening to our conversations.  This is a discussion we had before reading the spider goat article.

Me: Does a dolphin have two holes or one for pooping and peeing?

Boyfriend: I dunno.

Me: Well, fish and birds have one hole.

Boyfriend: But dolphins are mammals.  Dogs and cats are mammals, and they have two holes.

We sat and pondered this for a bit.

Boyfriend: So you know how spider webs are really strong for how thin they are?  I read somewhere that they’re incorporating spider DNA into goats so they can produce really strong material for industrial use.

Me: Why goats?  Why not like, turtles?

Boyfriend: I dunno.

Me. So the goats are either going to throw it up or poop it out.

Boyfriend: I guess.

Me: I mean, how do spiders make webs?

Boyfriend: I dunno.

Me: I dunno either.  So what kind of stuff are they going to make?

Boyfriend: Like, strong stuff.  Anything.

Me: What does that mean?

Boyfriend: Well, there are lots of strong materials that people use all the time.

Me: Well, spider web is also really sticky for how thin it is, and if the stickiness scales proportionally, people can use it to trap enemies.

Boyfriend: That’s stupid.

Me (after thinking long and hard): Ok, how about using it to make…rope?

Boyfriend: Way to think outside the box.

Me: Well, what do you have?

Boyfriend: People always like to make weapons.  And it’s good for armor because it doesn’t break easily.

Me: Look, I thought about armor but rejected it because I don’t know how elastic it is, and if it’s elastic enough, sure it’ll stay intact AFTER IT GOES THROUGH YOU.  So I’m going to stick with rope.

About awesomebitch

Intolerant, elitist, and awesome.
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