The Boyfriend loves to argue with me when he misspells or mispronounces words and names. I keep an updated record of his lexical faux pas.
While cuddling in bed:
me: You’re a scallop.
Boyfriend: I know. I’m delicious and pretty.
me: No. You’re pale, soft, and stupid.
Boyfriend: I’m not stupid.
me: You’re a pussy.
me: It’s pusillanimous.