The Boyfriend loves to argue with me when he misspells or mispronounces words and names. I keep an updated record of his lexical faux pas.
On the plane ride from D.C. to San Francisco:
me: It’s so cool that we actually saw a bar menu in D.C. that categorized drinks as “pre-prandial” and “post-prandial.”
Boyfriend: Is “prandial” a noun or an adjective? Or both?
me: That’s a good question, actually. I don’t know.
Boyfriend: Is it a verb?
Boyfriend: Is it an adverb? An object? A subject?
me: No, no, no.
Boyfriend: Is it a particle?
me: Now you’re combining sixth grade science with sixth grade grammar. Ok, kids, now count the approximate number of dirt particles you see under your microscope.
Boyfriend: Ok…but is it a particle?
me: Definitely not.
Boyfriend: Why isn’t “prandial” a particle?
me (chanting to self): You are my boyfriend, and I love you. You are my boyfriend, and I love you.
Boyfriend (after much thought): I don’t understand.
me (sighing laboriously): When you say “particle,” you mean “article.”
Boyfriend: Well, whatever. I just got “article” and “past participle” mixed up.
Note: “Prandial,” as we found out later, is an adjective and not a noun.