Late 2010 Boyfriend Malapropism: Goethe

The Boyfriend and I had been dating for some months, and I, for some reason or other, had made a handful of references to Goethe in our conversations within that span of time.  The Boyfriend claimed he had never heard of Goethe in his life and that I was loopy for talking about an imaginary person.  In truth, I didn’t know anything about Goethe either–my exposure to his work consisted of one Wikipedia search and a few scattered passages mentioned peripherally in a Victorian literature class I took in college.

Anyway, the Boyfriend and I were driving somewhere, and we came across a radio commercial advertising some sort of Goethe reading at a local bookstore.  I got excited and said, “Hey, I told you I wasn’t making this guy up!  People read him!  In bookstores!”

The Boyfriend shook his head and said something about us all being weirdos.

I persisted.  “We can’t all be crazy.  Goethe is huge.”

“Goethe is a stupid name.”

“Well, whatever.  It’s German.  He can’t help it.”

“Those crazy Germans.  How do you even spell that?”

“G-o-e-t-h-e.  There’s an umlaut somewhere in there.”

“You mean Goe-th?” he burst out in sheer contempt.  He pronounced it so that it rhymed with “growth.”  “You’ve been talking about Goe-th the entire time?”

I took a deep breath.  “God help me.  I mean, yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”


“Who pronounces it Ger-tuh?  That’s the most fucked up thing I’ve ever heard.”

Note: Goethe is the American/English transliteration of Gothe (with the umlaut over the “o”).  

About awesomebitch

Intolerant, elitist, and awesome.
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