May 29, 2011 Spelling Fail: Triple Grammatricide on PostSecret

From today’s PostSecret:

Sure, I’d be concerned if I were this person.  I’d be worried that I wouldn’t be able to help my daughter with her homework once she started third grade.  I’d be worried that I’m a moron who doesn’t know how to a) apostrophize, b) capitalize, or c) write a complete sentence.

But then again, I might capitalize on my ability to fail at all three in the course of a single 13-word sentence.  Maybe I’d hire myself out to a grammar workbook company as a writer–of bad sentences students have to spend hours correcting, of course–earn some money, and move away from my pedophilic boyfriend.  Maybe I’d eventually start my own academic workbook company, hire a whole bunch of people to write workbooks inspired by my grammatical errors, and create an empire around my illiteracy.  Then I’d be totally rich and get a new boyfriend who doesn’t fantasize about my young teen daughter’s ass when I’m not around.  And if I get suspicious, I could always hire people and install hidden cameras to monitor his every move.

All that would definitely be easier than learning me how to spell.

About awesomebitch

Intolerant, elitist, and awesome.
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